This one is for my trauma survivors. My can't take any more pain, tried every drug on the planet, alcoholic, toxic relationships your entire life, been lower than low, on the verge of suicide, trauma survivors. You can get better! You can find the will to live again. I promise. Here is how I did it.
Let's start by saying I actually am kind of pissed though, because I have kids. I am not pissed because I HAVE kids, I am pissed because I can't take the easy way out and kill myself, because I have kids. I just couldn't do that to them. So when I reached the lowest of low and I started contemplating suicide on a daily basis, I looked at my daughter's sweet face and made the decision to find a way and will to live. The stubborn, Taurus, competitive asshole came out in me and I was not going out without a fight. I had to find a way to fix myself. For my sanity and most of all, for my sweet babies.
When you grow up in an extremely toxic environment, you can either become empathetic and people pleasing as an adult, or you grow up learning that feelings don't matter and become a manipulating, abusive narcissist. God, the Universe, Aliens or whatever the hell created us, decided that it would be funny to make me the former. So I am, by nature, an Empath. What does it mean to be an Empath?
When I tell you that I feel hard, I FEEL HARD. Overly so. When someone or something hurts me, it breaks me. I have looked for love in all of the wrong places my entire life. Drugs, relationships, jobs, alcohol, even my own kids. Through failure after failure of trying to make everyone around me happy in an attempt to get them to love me, I ignored the one person that mattered most. Me. I am not an expert. I am not a doctor. I have just experienced life in every way imaginable. And through my attempts and experiences, I have completely transformed myself and my life in the span of a year.
You start with what you know, right?
FULL BLOG POST COMING SOON!
Check Back September 1st, 2021 🌻